Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Kdrussell85@gmail.com's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, May 13th, 2006
2:34 am	Ive been struck ever so graciously, by Meg. >Once you've been tagged, you have to write a blog with 8 facts/things/habits about yourself, saying who tagged you. In the end you need to choose the 6 people to be tagged and list their names. No tag backs.< 1. I used to want to be a pilot, mostly because being in the air is infinitely better than being at school. 2. I smoke entirely too much. 3. Once, I had a teacher, A FUCKING TEACHER!! tell my parents that i read too much. This of course being the same man who rolled in a television every day for a few weeks so we could all watch the O.J. trial while doing our "school"work. 4. Steve Winwood makes me sob. 5. I used to love falling asleep to the sound of my grandma's typewriter. When I was much younger she would tell some of the best stories ive ever heard, sometimes I miss them like hell. 6. Im jealous of blind people because i think they are able to hear infinitely better than I can. 7. I once had a customer at borders agree to buy a Dr. Phil book when I told her that he cared more about her family than she did. 8. I miss my dad. I seriously doubt that the amount of people who actually read this totals up to 6 or above. so if you have read this, consider yourself tagged. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 10th, 2006
7:45 pm	I think im fuckin drowning. Current Mood: Borderline Current Music: Long as I can see the light (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, April 29th, 2006
6:05 am	Jazz! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, April 21st, 2006
5:48 am	Full Circle. Hello. I am an average american citizen with an average american name. In my free time i enjoy sports, top 40 hits, laughing out loud and nodding my head in agreement. Annnd I think you will agree. I had something intended for this, Oh bother. Instead ill take up space with nonsense. Better yet. A story. This is a story about a man. A man whom for the last 3 and a half years of his life has dedicated his every waking moment to living his fathers dream. "Son" his dad used to say, "someday your going to be a great lawyer" As a child he would just smile and agree knowing absolutely nothing of law or what the word "lawyer' meant. He awakens one day after a glorious dream about something.. Having forgotten the dream shortly after awakening (as most people do) he figured that whatever it was it must not have been very important. However he couldnt seem to shake the feeling that something was different. A pulsating in the palm of his right hand seemed to indicate that yes, indeed something was amiss. Turns out that a perfectly formed circle had appeared there on the center of his palm. He thought in that little head of his that it must be an omen and that he should go searching for psychic help as soon as possible, After a thorough search he finally settled upon one who fit his budget. So he place a phone call which was short, sweet and to the point. Madame Claire informed him that a circle on his palm meant that he was destined to do great and wonderful things, and for a mere two hundred dollars she would be happy to tell him more. Unfortunately for her though "Great and wonderful things" was all he needed to hear in order to truly believe in himself. hmmm. this is either going to be way too long, or too short to get the message across. so ill outline the rest. So he did what anyone in his deluded position would do. He dropped out of school and became a highly successful writer of bad books. Books so fucking terrible that anyone with any sense of what an imagination actually is couldnt justify burning them. Fire is much to sacred to be tainted that way. But it would seem that imaginitive people are few and far between because he had somehow managed to make the bestsellers list. Upon being summoned to appear on oprah, he boarded a plane. He then fell ill at about 70,000 feet and died a half an hour later due to a bad case of ringworm. The End. And the morale of the story is....... umm... uhhh... Believe in yourself???. Current Mood: Insomnia Current Music: Yes, after lunch (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 19th, 2006
10:44 pm	Mmmm. These damn interdimensional doorways are leading me around in circles again. hehe interdementia? "Well i was in the fifth dimension, at least i think i was. Cant seem to remember though ive forgotten again" Current Mood: calm Current Music: Tool (Comment on this)
Monday, April 17th, 2006
6:04 pm	Where? Still reeling. On the back burner again, to be called forth when needed I assume. Because you know. you know. I do so love limbo. how low can ya go? The stench of Purgatory invades my senses causing temporary Psychosis. Afloat In a womb of discontent I try desparately to escape, But its just so damned dark in here. Sometimes i think that i see light. sometimes. It comes in the form of inspiration. The form of one whom inspires me. Sometimes I feel like Oliver Twist. "Might I have some more?" Only Im dying of thirst here. Its all I can do sometimes to get myself out of bed in the morning. Dreading yet another day of my clueless obsession. But really its not so bad. I can and will find my content somewhere, somehow. Focus. Current Mood: indifferent Current Music: Heh. Prince (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 11th, 2006
11:40 am	Perfect. I am now required to go in twice a month so they can test me for alcohol. On top of that apparently i could be facing up to 90 days in jail though i doubt ill be getting that. "Were gonna get ya boy" On the plus side they maintained that it will be alcohol only testing. So some of lifes more enlightening pursuits remain open to me. Thanks be to paul whom went with me into the depths of satans septic tank this morning. Current Mood: Ehhh Current Music: Paul playing piano (1 Comment |Comment on this)
3:02 am	*P*I*E*C*E*S Satriani concert was fucking amazing! Some of the songs i havent heard in a while left me with a gut wrenching feeling of nostalgia. I miss my drugs, havent smoked pot in about 2 months now. I went out in the most self righteous and justified way possible. Felt good about myself for the first few weeks. Now i cant think the same. Is it wrong that i like my thought flow better when im high? or am I just fucking pathetic? I have no idea anymore. I remember a few summers ago taking mushrooms alone, and driving around. Bad idea, but the road was seamless. While trying to sort through my head i wandered into some suburb and drove aimlessly about in its maze. I think i was searching for something. With windows down and tire plate clicking away I passed a bunch of dumb looking homeboys who vaguely resembled human beings, came to an intersection and stopped. To my left I watched a very sad girl pick herself up off of the end of her driveway, it looked as if she was crying but i was too far away to tell. Head slightly bowed and figured poised as if she had some sort of unbearable weight on her shoulders she made her way towards the front door, Each step looking more painful than the one before. I wanted desperately to go to her and say "hey, come with me let me take some of that pain you carry" She got to her door before i could think to act on that impulse. I felt so badly that i spent the next hour sobbing, trying to find my way back out of the maze. Figuring that if i turned left enough i would get out  I wound up going in circles though everything looked so different each time i came around. I want to go back. I need a Redo. Current Mood: melancholy Current Music: Sigur Ro's ( ) (Comment on this)
Friday, April 7th, 2006
4:34 am	I get to go in for an arraignment on monday 8:31 am. Im so thrilled. Current Mood: Fluctuating Current Music: O - Passive (Comment on this)
Thursday, April 6th, 2006
4:21 am	Volunteered slavery has got me on the run.. Current Mood: Isogeted Current Music: Sahib Teri BandiMaki Madni (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, April 3rd, 2006
2:11 am	BANG! Current Mood: schizophrenic Current Music: Prison Sex (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 29th, 2006
2:54 am	Still Here.... (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, March 20th, 2006
11:09 pm	Staring back at the world. Ohio was a blast, though it is the heart of the beast.(satans abode) now I have one word for you... Absynthe. see now arent you all excited? Good. You should be. Ill probably put the ohio thoughts into something more tangible later. (Comment on this)
Friday, March 17th, 2006
12:48 pm	Going to ohio for the weekend (if anyone cares) Someone call me DAMNIT!!! hehe yall enjoy yourselves now. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 15th, 2006
7:02 pm	Things turn out right in front of my face... There comes a point. wish i knew where it was coming from and for what but im sure it will hit me. With a resounding smack heard across the world, and or within the sound range from whence it came. so maybe around the world is a bit of an exaggeration. but then again what are words for? Ayn Rand is probably the most self important bitch i have ever read in my life. annnnnnnd... I think im in love with the woman. theres just the whole she's dead thing that i cant quite seem to make disappear pretty random huh? hehe RANDom. Someone very dear to me has been far too distant for far too long and im not sure what to do about it. Serves me right anyhow for never defining the undefinable conditions of the unconditional. heh. Guess theres something to be said for being forthright. I was thinking that acid might be a good idea. Squeegy the third eye a little bit, and open up some channels of communication. what do ya say, shall we commit an act of terror? So theyve turned working at borders into a competition. those who push the rewards card the hardest will get more hours, music promos etc. Ok so really not that difficult except that i cant seem to help informing the customer that the rewards card is really just a front which allows big brother to spy on all their purchases. I then go on to tell them that those with the highest rewards points get free telescreens installed courtesy of big brother or to be more "politically correct" big sister. I have long since ceased to be amazed at how little people care, the blank stares which are reminiscent of the sheep you see riding the escalator into the slaughterhouse no longer frighten me. Fuck it your going to get exactly what you fucking asked for and you'd better never cry to those who've warned you. Then again maybe im just paranoid. "After two stillborn babies billy said I am, just a portion of the man i was before i went to nam" vytonchenyy tyhr Current Mood: Aquatic Current Music: Oysterhead - Shadow of a man (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 16th, 2006
6:29 pm	And we continue to thrive.. pulsating using words that have no meaning or consequence just so we can believe were saying something important. just to say something knowing that it is better than the unbearable silence of the truth which we fight so hard with those words. I heard an advertisement on the radio a while back, it was calling upon people to take part in a study. a study? you ask. yes indeed it seems that the brilliant minds we have working for us in the field of medicine are applying themselves at last to produce something meaningful. something that could potentially rock the proverbial boat and shatter all of our prior concepts of what is possible. no, not a cure for cancer nor is it aids or any of the super diseases they have created for us thanks to the "miracle" of antibodies. this wonder drug is intended for the purpose of curing gambling. thats right do you compulsively gamble? if so then you must accept the fact that "your only human" and thus incapable of overcoming this with the power of your mind. if you gamble too much its not your fault. have a pill. Do you suffer from a depressive disorder? if so than once again we ask that you betray your mind and conciously ignore the fact that the world is in shambles, that there is nothing you can do about it, and that your ass hurts because your constantly being fucked. theres no reason to fight this. you are after all only human and therefore much too weak, guilt ridden and filled with original sin to do anything about it. soooo here you go. Take this pill. If you buy into a doctrine that states that you are personally incapable of changing something about yourself, then you are buying into a doctrine of unreality, a doctrine that states that your mind is a weak tired and overworked muscle that your better off leaving flaccid and unused due to the futility of thinking for yourself. to accept this is to deny self and accept death as your standard of living. I forgot what i was getting at, nick has arrived and i am leaving. goodnight (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, December 15th, 2005
10:29 pm	R R R R R R § Her running footsteps created a muddy echo as they skittered across the tear drenched streets. She thought she could hear the sound of  someone weeping nearby, each heart wrenching sob falling in time with the downbeat of her footfalls. The thin line of blood trickling down her lip reminds her that there is no time to stop, gotta keep on moving . Moving Moving Moving   I have all this written down somewhere. I might type it all out at somepoint but as of right now im not in the mood. sitting in front of this screen is driving me nuts. The white and blue lj update screen does not under any circumstances inspire much more than a want to voilently vomit. Doctors have discovered a new disease sweeping the nation, its been unofficially called "Mush Brain" This rare virus destroys the brain causing irreparable damage but worry not the only possible means of attaining this nastiness involves sitting yourself down to watch an entire season of friends in one sitting. Those who watch the entire collection of seasons over the course of a week or 2  fall into a catatonic state which leaves only the body living. (oddly enough the families of these people cannot tell the difference) Dead from the neck up syndrome. I would call all of this natural selection, but shit who am I to interfere with medical terminology? Does anyone else just love the list of set emotions of a mighty fine variety available for us to choose from? With a selection like this I am always guaranteed to feel something, sometimes something i wouldnt have expected. but thats what the list is for right? Thanks be to LJ Light of  the world and savior to our generation, withought you how would we ever communicate? Be loved darling. goodnight. Current Mood: Alone Current Music: Skip james - Hard luck child (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, December 10th, 2005
11:08 pm	Weeping willow wont you cry for me. In pain and tired, bout the only thing that makes sense to me right now is curling up and sleeping with you. Also i have downed a few sleeping pills taken with some chugs of nyquil I may be passing out soon but i have yet to feel an effect. Current Mood: listless Current Music: Robin Trower - Long misty days (Comment on this)
Monday, December 5th, 2005
10:58 pm	ANNNND..... yah. thats right. I will be travelling to sir daniels abode in a few moments to find comfort in a bottle of ole jimmy beam. Under no circumstance do i recommend jim beam, but its free so ill be the last to complain. And in other news. Pontious Frost the IIIrd (Seen Here) Decreed today that one "Frosty the snowman" (Also seen here) Be crucified tomorrow at 8 am You can tune into this event via pay per view for a mere $19.95 (add $2.50 for hi def) Unfortunately for the snowman "some magic" just simply wasnt enough to save his righteous ass. Sorry children this time he wont be back again someday As Mr. frost is having the hat retailored into a magical jock strap that he intends to use for "a special purpose" as he called it (those more in the know have told us that he will wear it the next time his company has a softball game) That is all Goodnight Current Mood: Auchh. Current Music: Maestro Claypool and the Holy Mackerel (Comment on this)
Friday, November 25th, 2005
10:16 pm	Its fairly difficult to sit here in front of a screen in order to express myself in this manner. To translate thought into pressed keys so that others might read these words that ive meticulously typed. 350 pounds of old man is entirely too much to lift with a hernia. And here i was thinking i had cancer. Well at least until i felt the muscle pop. Fucking retard doctor seems to think that it is just a strain. i can feel the exposed entrails bulging out under my skin and i must say this is fairly unpleasent. enough about that. talk? Taboo? Who? Why am i still fascinated with things that hurt me? Its as if i crave the interaction. Yet in the midst of the actual thing i am fucking miserable. Somehow it was worth it. heh. The pain though it has subsided left an afterglow. Perhaps this means ive learned something? guess ill find out if history decides to repeat itself again. 3 times the charm? We shall see who needs what. and the moral? morals. what? never try to pick up a 350 pound example of why christianity doesnt work. for he is living (albeit barely) proof. Current Mood: Ouch Current Music: Mr. Bungle. Yahh thats right Mr. Bungle (Comment on this)